Q's Guide to the Continuum

Captain's log, Stardate Eleventy-leven eighty six point negative nine. Charted a blah blah blah with my blah blah crew today, collecting samples of blah blah blah...

Aren't you tired of surveying all the brave new worlds and startling new civilizations of the galaxy with the safe, polite, politically correct members of the Federation? After all, they only have fun when they break their own rules and leave a communicator behind on a planet of curious mimics, or travel through time to play with tribbles. Wouldn't you rather travel the stars with me?

Who am I? Spelled the same way front as back: Q! You've heard of me. All-seeing, all-knowing, dashing beyond comparison. The Q have been here since the dawn of time (and in some cases, a little before that, but that's another story), and we've seen it all. But I've put it all together in a form you can understand. The title? Q's Guide to the Continuum! (Well, what did you think I would call it? Picard's Incessant Droning About Stellar Gas Formations?)

Want to know what the longest-lived race in the galaxy is? It's here. Ever wonder who is the greatest mass murderer of all time? I know that, too. And are you dying to find out if a certain relative of mine ever played the harpsichord while dressed like a Victorian nobleman? Well, there are some things I won't tell you, but the rest will be revealed in Q's Guide to the Continuum! (Love that title, don't you?) Prepare to be enlightened!